It was a dark and story night when we first got the news that a wild, quasi-retarded chimpanzee named Baa-Rock had escaped from the zoo here in the Military District of Columbia…you know, the Zoo located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?
Baa-rock was happy most of the time, but, at other times he wanted to show the entire WORLD how evil and mean he TRULY was and just how mean and cunning he was. It was not a pleasant thing to watch…or to endure. Many people died because of it.
One day, when the storm clouds parted, Baa-Rock decided to send out his favorite drone to kill humans. Don’t misunderstand me, Baa-Rock was not stupid…he was just, well, Baa-Rock. What more can I say?
The entire community armed themselves and vowed that NEVER AGAIN would they let Baa-Rock do what he is doing. He HAD to be stopped. So, we devised a plan………
All of us who knew how to operate advanced weapons, like lasers, Nuclear Artillery shells, MicroWave Flesh-Heating weapons and, most importantly, sniper rifles, decided to put an end to the evil and death that Baa-Rock was spreading. It had to be done.
The next day, (which just happened to be July 4th), we spread out over the District of Columbia and even further, into what used to be called ‘Virginia’ and ‘Maryland’. Then, just when we were about to give up, the drone was spotted!
Immediately, we went to DEFCON ONE and activated the Emergency Tactical Net on our Encrypted Satellite Communications Network. The Radar operators fed the flight path, trajectory heading, speed and altitude into our portable CRAY 9000 Supercomputer, and almost immediately we had the location of Baa-Rock’s drone! All of us rejoiced and headed to what used to be ‘Joint Base Andrews’. The thing had landed there! Baa-Rock himself was standing by the monster drone, petting and stroking it like the thing was alive! We had our chance!
One of our guys spoke up on our Emergency SATCOM network and instructed all of us to activate our LASER rangefinders, and to patch that data into our CRAY 9000. After 75 citizen-warriors fed their data into our laser targeting and range subsystem, the final GPS coordinate was then quickly patched, via direct Laser-Telemetry, to the silicon brain of the unmanned Laser-Sniper system which was mounted high on the top of an unused cellular tower.
Just then, we saw the flash and felt, more than heard, a deafening explosion! The Drone was gone! Baa-Rock was taken out, too, just like he used to take humans out with his drone’s rockets.
©2018, Matthew Brooks Dodson, The Imaginews Report™
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